Wednesday, September 21, 2011

We have Twins

On one hand it’s hard to believe that I have twins, never mind that they are already more than a month old. On the other hand, I can completely believe I have twins and they are more than a month old because I’m having a time learning how to juggle two infants and a toddler plus, I think I’ve been awake pretty much nonstop for the past month.

Anyway, here’s how it all went down:

8/17/11 – Wednesday

Devin had been working from home because I just hadn’t been feeling well and he wanted to be close by in case something happened. I had two doctors’ appointments on Wednesday. The first was my regular weekly OB check and the second was at ROC for the fetal monitoring test. Neither my mom nor Devin liked the idea of me driving, or being alone at all, so my mom went with me (and Collin) to my OB appointment and Devin was going to meet me for the long appointment at ROC.

At 11:15 I got called back for my appointment. Collin had shown no interest in waiting with me and was running around the lobby being a little boy. So I thought I would be smart and not draw attention to the fact that I was leaving the room. Well, that was the wrong thing to do. As soon as the door closed I heard him run over and bang on the door yelling “Mama! Mama!” Thankfully my mom was there and he is easily distracted by her. So I’m walking back to have my BP and weight taken and Collin is just tugging at my heart strings. Once I got to the room and was waiting for my doctor I was thinking about Collin and not having much more time alone with him, I started crying. When my doctor got to the room she was empathetic but also knew how miserable I was. So she did was OB doctors do and asked if I wanted to have babies today because I was 3 centimeters dilated already and was actually in labor.

So, over here I have myself getting every excited that I’m not going to be pregnant anymore and don’t have to go to the other doctors appointment. But over there I’m panicking because I know I REALLY have no time left with Collin. My doctor sent me straight across the street to the hospital. I told Devin what was going on and luckily we already had bags packed so all he had to do was throw everything in the car van. When I walked out into the lobby area I hugged Collin as tight as I possibly could, knowing it would be the last time I would get to do so him being my only child. At this point I was only excited about not being pregnant. I wasn’t happy about anything else. I wanted Collin to sit with me forever, and at least go have lunch with him. Mom drove me across the street and I cried as I gave Collin one last hug in his car seat before I walked inside to register. He started to cry because he wanted out of his seat and to go with me. Talk about killing me.

I got checked in, admitted and was in triage waiting when Devin got to the hospital to be with me. Because I had a donut at 8:00 that morning we were going to have to wait eight hours before they could consider my surgery. Seriously? It was a donut, it was probably already completely threw me by that point. I didn’t have a four course meal for breakfast and hadn’t eaten lunch. Whatever. The nurse told us it would probably be about 5:00 before we headed back for the C-Section. It was going to be a long day, it was only about noon at this point. I was hooked up to all the monitors for heart rates and whatnot and the nurse mentioned that Lana’s heart rate was a little low, but wasn’t anything to worry about yet. Luckily for us the triage was filling quickly and they wanted the bed I was in, so they rushed all my blood and paperwork and we headed back for surgery at 3:00 instead of 5:00.

I really thought I would be more scared than what I was going back. I don’t do needles, hospitals, or blood, and I was in the epicenter for all three. The anesthesiologist was great; I never knew anything was going on. When I was numb and couldn’t feel anything my doctor said to bring Devin in. I asked if they could get him a chair because he nearly passed out when I had Collin, I didn’t need him actually passing out while I was on the table being sliced open. He got in and within minutes I felt a “huge” weight lifted off of me and I took a big breath and thought “I can breathe” simultaneously my doctor said, “Justin’s out first!” and we heard a very large-little cry. A nurse noted the time, “3:51 PM.” Within 30 seconds Lana was out, I could breathe even easier, my doctor commented that the cord was around Lana’s neck (which explained her lower heart rate earlier), we heard yet another large-little cry, another time note of “3:51 PM” and my doctor say “and here’s Lana!.” At some point in there she also asked Devin if he wanted to see something. So he stood up and looked over the curtain. Not gonna lie, I would not have done that. What he really saw is still a mystery to me, and I’m ok with that. As my doctor was doing what she clip_image002needed to do the nurses were tending to these two crying babies. I couldn’t help but think, “how are we going to handle that!?” Because we knew I was going to have a C-Section and we are done having children, we decided I was going to have my tubes tied. My doctor leaned over the curtain so she could see me and says “Erin. You have beautiful ovaries. And such long tubes” I told her “Good. Double-knot them!” She and the nurses giggled as they brought Justin and Lana, all bundled up, over to see me. Devin got to walk over and take pictures and see them while they were being cleaned up.

It was at this point that I wasn’t thrilled about the whole C-Section process. I didn’t get to hold my babies right away. Collin was placed immediately on my chest after I had him, but my twins had to go to the NICU for several hours and I had to go to recovery. After I left recovery I thought they would be brought to my room. But my clip_image004bed was wheeled into the NICU were we got to hold them for a grand total of about 5 minutes. They were so tiny, all I wanted to do was snuggle them on my chest and nurse them. But I couldn’t. They stayed and I was taken to my room. My mind was taken off of that a little when my mom came back and brought Collin. I was so happy to see him, but he was scared to walk into the room. He saw me, in the bed, IV in my hand, and fell to the floor saying “oh mama!” I told him I needed a hug from him, so he eventually warmed up to the idea of being in the room and that I was OK. He definitely wasn’t sold on the fact that I was “fine” but he took that Mama was “ok.” It was so good to hold him in my arms again. I say that like it had been days or weeks since I had seen him, when in reality it was only like 8 or 9 hours. Devin took my mom back to the NICU so she could see the babies, they didn’t let anyone but me or Devin hold them, but she got to hold their tiny hands for a minute, and I got some alone time with Collin. It was rough saying goodbye to Collin again, but he needed to go; it was way past his bedtime. FINALLY about 6 or 7 hours after they were born, our babies were brought to our room. We could hold them and I could nurse them.

It was a long day. I cried more about how Collin was going to feel and not getting to spend more time with him than anything else. The only thing I would change about the day is that I wouldn’t have eaten breakfast and I would have spent much more time with Collin the night before and that morning. But I was/am definitely glad to have my two new babies there with me also.